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To Tweak
When evening becomes eccentric
Tossing back her wool and silk blended coat, Mrs. Voorhees said, "I feel we should buy this house because the petite, octagonal glass door handles are in perfect condition, and the master bedroom closet on my side already has the most delicate wallpaper pattern of small blue birds and chaparral."
This would be funnier if not so true. When we spent days looking for our first proper home, I would get really attached if there was a room just for setting plant cuttings, or original swan handles in the powder room, and a second floor laundry shoot or a complete butler’s pantry with a brass sink and a shelf for storing Angostura Bitters. In the end, I bought my house from Gloria and Maurice because…wait for it… they had squeezed two baby grand pianos in the formal room. I told my daughter that this was a sign. This would be the house where she would celebrate her sixteenth birthday. Besides, the neighbors had already established an entire front wall of wisteria….
When the roof is finally secured, and the air ducts updated to code, then the tweaking may begin. For those of us who ponder the details, tweaking separates mere decoration into a semi-permanent still life. The placement of a book or velveteen chair (not Georgian blue, but a Capri blue) is worthy of diligence and study. No question that this obsessive behavior has its drawbacks, but yet when application is confident and subtle there is great contentment for sure.
Random is the new kitsch. Your personal object cart can prove serene in the comfort of your own home. Why do those flowers suit that vase? What is just the right umbrella fringe for this intimate patio?
Go on. I could be ridiculed. Of course I am aware that the kitchen table works not only because it is from The Venice Boys Club, an early find, but also because it is where we make apple crumble and school art projects – my favorite being those that use a shoebox to make a diorama. Let the coffee drip down the cupboards…sliced shallots in between the stove edges. The important part is that we are preparing the meal together, and friends are coming. Pool towels are not meant to match…and, woops, I just got sun tan lotion all over the lounging covers. No worries. We are healthy, and already have enough bread for toast in the morning.
Still, I may need to look in the very back of the kitchen shelf, by the double sink, for the marmalade just purchased at Heathrow—near the departure gates—Tsar’s Marmalade with gooseberry and kumquat syrup. Might I suggest, when you eat any taste-driven sauce it should not be eaten with the jelly face-up as seems standard, but face-down, so to engage the tongue. That is, if you fancy eating with tweak.
For comments or questions email Andrea Kay
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Thank you
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